The Denial-Driven Life

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. My name is Chip Babcock and I'm so happy to be speaking with all of you at the Plasticorp Dynamic Solutions Sales Team Offsite 2006. Your managers tell me you've had a challenging year. Well, I know a bit about challenging times in business. When my polite crime scene tape business folded, I thought I would never recover. But you know what folks? I discovered a little secret that I'd like to share with you today.

You know, it seems that every day someone is getting in the way of where we want to go, what we want to do, who we want to be. Life’s obstacles can be numerous and daunting. But hear this: the only things that can get in the way of your dreams are the things you let get in the way of your dreams.

That’s right, it’s all in your hands. How’s that for empowerment? Sure, your lazy eye and snaggleteeth could thwart your modeling ambitions – if you let them do that. And your 59 IQ may keep you from helming a Fortune 500 corporation – but only if you give in to that “reality.”
The only one with the power to stop yourself from believing your dreams can actually come true is you. So stop stopping yourself! And start believing true happiness is just around the corner. You never know. It just might be.

The true secret to a better life? Denial. Simple, old-fashioned denial. Once you stop acknowledging all the “realities” that keep you shackled to an unsatisfying life, those things lose their power over you. Then the possibilities are endless!

Now, I know what you’re saying. “Chip, I thought denial was a bad thing.” Yes, for years the “experts” have preached the "gospel" of acknowledgement, urging "people" to face up "to" their "problems." They "use" fancy terms like "accountability" and "ownership." Ridiculous! The only thing acknowledgement does is remind you just how inadequate you really are. And they call it self-improvement?

I set out to chart a course for the millions of others out there like me who just want to feel good about themselves and their prospects in life, without the discomfort of actually dealing with their problems and/or shortcomings.

Through careful observation, personal experience and many hours alone with nothing better to do, I have developed an easy-to-follow, denial-based way to live the life of your dreams. Today I'll share Seven Habits that can dramatically change your life for the better, or at least help you think that it’s possible.

Now, I realize the world needs another self-help guru like it needs Olympic ice dancing or the rock band Nickleback. And if you're like me, you've been burned by plenty of these things before. So I understand if you're all a bit skeptical at this point. But believe me, this system is absolutely foolproof. How's that? It's all in the power of denial. If it doesn't work, just tell yourself it did. See, you're already on your way.

So let’s get started with a high-level look at the Seven Habits…you'll see them on the screen up front. What follows is not a chronologically ordered list. No one Habit is more important than another Habit and no Habit depends on the completion of a previous Habit. I've still chosen to number the Habits because numbered lists look far more credible than bulleted lists.

Seven Habits of Highly Deluded People
1. Set easily achievable goals
2. Reinvent yourself until you forget what was wrong in the first place
3. Surround yourself with dumber, less successful people
4. Be decisive, even when you’re about to do something incredibly stupid
5. Every day, do nothing that scares you
6. Delude yourself with the power of positive thinking
7. When all else fails, act like you're insane

Now we're going to take a 10-minute break here. When we get back, we'll go through each of these habits in depth. I'll fill out the hour by answering some planted questions and shamelessly plugging my Web site, book and the system of tapes that, for only three easy payments of $29.95 will change your life forever. We'll see you in ten.